How Julius Caesar Cut Spending by 53% In One Fell Swoop!
Guest post by Rolfus Augustus Aurelius Lindgren
Part One: How Julius Caesar Escaped the Pirates (Source: Plutarch’s Lives)
It was 75 BC on the Mediterranean Sea, Julius Caesar was just 25 years old, and he was captured by pirates.
The pirates knew Caesar was a young nobleman and could be ransomed off for a lot of money. The pirates decided to charge 20 talents for his release. 20 talents was worth a massive amount of money, basically around 1,400 pounds of silver. But when Julius Caesar heard this he said; “20 talents? That’s it? Just 20 talents? I am worth 50 talents!”
Mind you that 50 talents is worth 3,500 pounds of silver.
So a deal was made and Caesar sent messengers to fetch 50 talents. After waiting about a month the silver was delivered and Caesar was released.
So what did Caesar do next? He rounded up a fleet, went back to the pirates’ cove, recovered his silver, and captured all the pirates.
Then Julius Caesar crucified all the pirates on wooden crosses. Because Caesar was considered a nice guy in ancient times, he did the pirates one last favor. He slit their throats while on the cross so they would die sooner and reduce their pain.
This amazing incident built Julius Caesar’s character. He later became one most fabled military & political leaders of all time.
Part Two:
It was 45 BC. Julius Caesar was now the master of Rome. He had just crossed the Rubicon River in 49 BC.
He had defeated the previously undefeated Pompey the Great in battle in 48 BC at Pharsalus.
He had uttered “Veni vedi vici” (I came, I saw, I conquered) in 47 BC after winning the Battle of Zela.
And in 46 BC, Julius Caesar had lopped on an extra 80 days to the year making 46 BC 445 days long! Imagine if Trump did that!
But now, in 45 BC, the city of Rome had 322,000 people on welfare receiving free grain and other food. Many lazy people were sitting around enjoying bread & circuses or causing trouble. Money was being wasted.
So, executive leader Julius Caesar took action. He issued an executive order. He declared that all able-bodied men must work rather than get free welfare.
This reduced the dole from 322,000 welfare recipients to only 150,000. A 53% drop in one fell swoop! This is quite similar to President Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill which includes work requirements for Medicaid.
And best of all, federal judge James Boasberg wasn’t around to declare Julius Caesar’s action unconstitutional.
Rolfus Augustus Aurelius Lindgren is the Pints & Politics Director of the Republican Party of Dane County
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Ray ce % of Recipients % of Population
SNAP (aka Food stamps)
White 35.8% 60.4%
Black 25.4% 13.4%
TANF (aka Welfare)
White 27.2% 60.4%
Black 28.9% 13.4%
Hispanic 37.8% 18.3%
Medicaid
White 41% 60.4%
Black 30% 13.4%
Hispanic 20% 18.3%
Section 8
White 30% 60.4%
Black 42% 13.4%
Hispanic 23% 18.3%